My first STD was from a foam party
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
