My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
