Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
do herpes really smell.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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