What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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