i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
no you cant smoke seaweed
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
