Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
the gays at disneyland are vicious
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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