So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
