Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
