Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
