You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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