there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
