i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
