I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Dick very happy bro
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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