You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
