some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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