this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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