I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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