someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
