so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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