Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
