That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
BRING THE BAGELS
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
