I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
