I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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