it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We left an ass print on the piano.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
