Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
