I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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