Jerry, you need to find god
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
