one two three fourrrrnication!
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
