Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
