Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
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