Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
