you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
