You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
