haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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