im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
