There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
