Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
