On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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