i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
