what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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