the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
