how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
