exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
