bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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