He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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