Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
and she was petting her beer can
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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