WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
