Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
