we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
