No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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